By: Cam Ray
While I’ve always recognized the importance of family within Star Wars, the last few months have really emphasized for me the importance of family within the Star Wars fan community. From working on creating Star Wars themed music with fellow online friends, to working through difficult life situations together, and to my recent shenanigans running for President as an egotistical buffoon culminating in a live debate (shameless plug…it’s worth the watch: https://youtu.be/BaJ5OKva0bk), I have had so many wonderful and real experiences with people I have never met. Remember, we are all real people, whether online or in person. Through these interactions, I consider many of them to be my friends–even great friends. This sounds counter-cultural to many experiences I hear about concerning the menacing fandom of Star Wars, but I believe that our interactions with others can follow one of two paths. One leads towards the light and is filled with positivity and peaceful discord, while the other is filled with negativity and (many times) unnecessary drama, leading us towards a much darker result. The O.G. of Jedi-dom has something to say about all this.
We can always learn great real-life nuggets of oddly worded wisdom from Master Yoda, and this is very true through one of his most famous warnings about the dangers of the path to the dark side. About that dangerous direction Yoda warned, “Fear is the path to the dark side…fear leads to anger… anger leads to hate… hate leads to suffering.” We know this quote very well, but in regard to applying it to our lives–which I may over do with Star Wars references–something doesn’t quite sit well. I think, for me, it’s the irony that this wise warning of the detrimental direction fear will take us actually produces fear in me that I will take the path it is attempting to thwart my poor decision-making from heading down. That’s as clear as a safe path through an asteroid field, right? I’m sure Luke needed more of a stern warning at the time to show him the horrible outcomes his father’s choices produced in order to halt those choices from being repeated, but for me personally, I prefer a more positive and uplifting approach to remaining on the light side of humanity. Rather than showing me what terrible things will happen if I make the wrong choices, I’d much prefer to hear the great things that can happen if I make the right or better choices.
In Yoda’s warning’s present form, we see fear–unease, worry, or anxiety–issuing in anger–displeasure, animosity, or outrage. That anger brings on hate–resentment, hostility, or ill will. And if that wasn’t enough, that hate continues further downhill to produce suffering–torment, heartache, or misery–within our core. Talk about doom and gloom! I don’t want any of those wretched traits to own me, yet by reading them I almost feel like I need to call my therapist or at least watch a few hours of “Laughing Your Head Off with Boolio!”
If we dissect this warning’s dark side bound digression in its opposite form, I believe we find a progression which in turn leads to the light side. The opposite of fear is faith–assurance, confidence, and trust. I think it’s safe to say that faith can then lead to anger’s opposite, comfort–delight, kindness, and ease. And with comfort, we are naturally led towards love–good will, sympathy, or friendship–rather than hate. Finally, this loving spirit can lead us to joy–contentment, relief, and blessings. I’m pretty sure we can all agree we’d rather be filled with (and project to others) faith, comfort, love, and joy, versus those other nasty traits who must not be named (wrong franchise, sorry).
All of this positivity is a plus in comparison to the minus of negativity (both in life and arithmetic), but it is only important if we can apply it to the real world. And, as with any interaction with others, our own state of being will affect those interactions, whether for the better or (hopefully not) the worse. Before we say something to someone or respond to something someone said–be it in person, over the phone, or online–we should always run a quick personal state of being check. Are we responding from a place of fear or faith, anger or comfort, hate or love, and suffering or joy? In order to make this as cheesy, yet memorable and Star Warsy as possible, let’s go with a beautifully obvious acronym and “use the FORCE. Before opening your somewhat unpredictable mouth, ask yourself, “is what I’m about to say Friendly, Optimistic, Relevant, Compassionate, and Empathetic?” If it is, then proceed. If it is not, then it’s probably best to return to base and re-strategize your plan of non-aggressive negotiations.
First, is what we are about to say friendly? I believe we are all created equal, therefore we are all friends from birth, so we should choose to treat one another as such. Chewbacca is one of the best examples I can think of for a friend who stands by closer than a brother. If we would view all of our family, friends, and acquaintances with half the dedication and servanthood of Chewie, we may not even need the rest of this acronym. I want to have Chewies beside me, and more importantly, I want to be the Chewie beside others.
Next, is what we are about to say optimistic? A pessimistic remark only serves to bring spirits down or deflate excitement and happiness, so it’s best to always keep and project an optimistic viewpoint–both for ourselves and those we come in contact with. I have to say, the Optimist of the (Long Ago) Century Award has to go to the Binx-meister, that happy-go-lucky, glass is always half full Gungan himself, Jar Jar. This dude could be run over by an AT-AT (pronunciation still pending) on a daily basis and would continue bouncing back with a smile on his long face. Perhaps we could put a bit more forethought into our actions than Jar Jar, but the guy keeps a pretty positive outlook on life that we can aspire to.
You should also ask, is what you are about to say relevant? A quick answer or unsolicited opinion can come across as harsh, uncaring, and even rude if we aren’t careful with our words. Providing a relevant response can show you are focused on the other person, and it keeps you engaged in the discussion at hand, rather than just going off on your own tangent. I think Master Yoda takes the Dagobah cake bar on this one. His example of listening, thinking through things meaningfully, then presenting exactly what needs to be heard for the specific moment and topic at hand is a skill we can all afford to perfect. The old saying, “think before you speak” applies here. If we take a moment to really listen and speak with intent, we will have much more relevant and meaningful interactions with others.
Penultimately (I just love chances to use that word), you should ask if you are being compassionate. Compassion is so very important, especially in our hurting world. So many people are mistreated, feel abandoned, are lonely, or are just looking for authentic and healthy relationships. This is not something of which we aren’t aware, so it is best to look at each interaction we have with a loving and caring attitude, asking ourselves how we can be most supportive and show that we truly care. One of the most compassionate folks I can think of in Star Wars is (no, not one of the stormtroopers who beat Baby Yoda) Padmé Amidala. I mean, come on. The Queen of Naboo had the biggest heart for not only her people, but for all people, and she spent her life fighting for them. It is that fact alone that I can confidently say she didn’t die from a broken heart, because it was too big to destroy. If we could muster up an ounce of Padmé’s compassion for others, we would be exponentially better off.
Finally, ask yourself if you are being empathetic. We should be sympathetic to others as we are interacting with them, showing compassion, but we should also attempt to take our sympathy a step further and try to put ourselves in their shoes and truly imagine what it would feel like to be in their position. This takes serious selflessness and focus to not let our own experiences or prejudices get in the way. The person who comes to mind as having it together in the empathy department is R2-D2. Ok, the droid who comes to mind, but he may be the most put together human-like character in the galaxy. The little guy can always tell what someone is going through and how to meet them from a place of empathy and support. I mean, look how long he stuck beside Threepio!
As you punch it and head on your various journeys, just remember to have faith, which leads to comfort and love, culminating in joy. Then, as you interact with others, take a moment and remember to use the FORCE. Offer Chewie-level friendship, speak with the optimism of Jar Jar and the relevance of Yoda, and show the compassion of Padmé with the empathy of Artoo. I look forward to making new friendships and building current friendships, and I hope the Force is strong with you all!