Written by: Nicole Marhenke
Graphics by: Cam Ray
A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away... self-care wasn't even a thought, was it? Trials, tribulations, and traumatic events put me through the ringer. It would take me many, many years (and counting) to heal, and to learn how to love myself again. How to self-care even when I had my own child to take care of that required lots of sacrifice on my part. Unbeknownst to me, I was about to learn about the significance of self-care, loving myself, and striving for increased mental health from a place I didn't think was possible: Star Wars.
In November, 2019, I was reading Ahsoka by E. K. Johnston. As I followed Ahsoka’s journey, I felt something stirring in my heart. I was feeling very inspired by Ahsoka's bravery after she had gone through traumatic events. She was in survival mode, which I know all too well myself. One reoccurring moment in the book kept tugging at my heart: when Ahsoka would meditate. Why did Ahsoka meditating impact me so strongly? I'm more of an extrovert than an introvert – always on the move. If I'm quiet, it's because I'm reading or lost in thought. Having to be "still" for more than five seconds just to clear my head and think seemed outlandish to me. But here I was. For the sake of my mental health, I was about to begin to learn about self-care. And yes, I was learning this all from a space odyssey western. Ahsoka and others would teach me about the importance of strengthening my mental health and loving myself.
In the words of Master Yoda, "Pass on what you have learned."
For the remainder of the article I'm going to dive in to some ways to practice self-care. They are things I have learned and found even deeper inspiration from through Star Wars.
"Something lost. A part of yourself, perhaps. That which you seek, inside you will find." - Master Yoda
Long before Ahsoka, there was Master Yoda. Yoda was quite the master at meditation. Although it was Ahsoka that brought it to my attention, Yoda definitely shared some important pointers in the skill of meditation: Set the scene. Find a place with few disturbances. (I know this can be tough, as I have a child of my own and pets that like to be in your space.) Sit comfortably. Close your eyes. Bring your awareness to your breath. Focus your mind on your breath, and every time your mind begins to wonder again, bring your focus back to your breathing. You must feel the Force around you. Begin with a minute and work your way up to something more. Don't give up. Practice just like Yoda, Ahsoka, and many of the other Jedi.
"Remember, concentrate on the moment. Feel, don't think, use your instincts." - Qui-Gon Jinn
"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." - Master Yoda
When the world is on your shoulders, everything looks bleak. Your mind is racing with lots of thoughts, and it is important to train our minds. One good way to reveal what makes us angry, sad, hurt, or even to recognize the positives, is to journal. It is good to find the silver linings in each day and be grateful for the lessons. Take a few minutes each day to write out what might be bothering you, what might be good, and what you might be grateful for.
Ahsoka to Maul: “You’re lucky Anakin didn't show up. The way you’re fighting, you wouldn’t have lasted long.”
Whether you're strong with the Force or strong with the Sith, it is important to train the body. Exercise is known to produce endorphins in your body. It takes training to find something that feels good for your body and mind and benefits you physically. I know this practice all too well. Through my different traumatic experiences, my weight goes up and down like a yo-yo. But when I am training like the Jedi, I find myself much happier. When I am angry and then I work out, I feel better. Working out can be low-impact, like walking. You can also try yoga. Or if you really want to be adventurous, maybe look into lightsaber dueling.
Ahhhh. Music. It can make meditation even more peaceful, or a workout even more intense. It can make a bad day into a good day. So whether you listen to cantina music or you’re walking to the Imperial March, find the right music that fits the mood.
Padmè Amidala and Princess Leia have taught me something very vital: great hair helps! Taking the time to treat yourself to getting your hair done can make all the difference. Some might think of getting your hair cut or washed as mundane, while others really do look at this activity as a treat. If you have a wife or a mom or know someone that seems tired, overworked, or under stress, treat them to an afternoon at the spa and watch them bloom again. Or simply treat yourself to a mental-health hair day! I do believe even Kylo Ren (Ben Solo) understood the importance of taking care of his hair.
"No greater gift there is, then a generous heart." - Master Yoda
"You want to know the difference between a master and a beginner? The master has failed more than the beginner has ever tried." - Master Yoda
A few other great ways to self-care and to nurture your mind, your body, and your spirit are (1) take time to hang out with your pets, (2) take a bubble bath, (3) enjoy a beverage while reading your favorite Star Wars book. The importance is also to begin.
Carrie Fisher once said, “Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident.”
As a single mom, there have been times where it has been hard to do just that: begin. I wanted to make sure that I was doing everything in my power to first take care of my child, and to take care of my family - everybody else but me got the priority. (I swear I have my own Rebellion within myself!) But my confidence is growing, and my path to self-care is on a better course, thanks to the inspiration from some of my favorite Star Wars characters.
Love yourself, my friends. Find peace, and find the force within yourself. Learn to better self-care like the Jedi who came before you.
“This is a new day. A new beginning” - Ahsoka Tano