By: Nicole Marhenke
Lucasfilm introduced me, along with the rest of the world watching Disney+, to Din Djarin, in The Mandalorian - A bounty hunter. He is alone but not really alone. Not long into Din Djarin’s story, he bonds with The Child, becoming a clan of two. Along the way, he meets others like Cara Dune and Omera, as he tried to stay secure on a back world planet. Mando unexpectedly developed community in an unforeseen way.
The Mandalorian’s journey resonates with me, not only by being a parent trying to protect my clan and in finding places of safety, but also in surrounding myself with community. I found myself being alone in the Star Wars fandom for a while until I, too, found community in an unexpected fashion.
I can’t exactly remember the age when I began watching Star Wars. I can, however, remember the time in high school in the 1990’s when the Prequel Episodes 1, 2 and 3 were released. Guys in my class were talking at length about Padmé and Anakin. I desperately wanted to join the conversation but chose not to, as I felt awkward and already out of place at that time of my life. Although I may have been a cheerleader in a small K-12 school, I wasn’t popular. I was bullied, especially in elementary school for my ridiculous freckles, and later for my body in junior high. So, there I sat in silence, not wanting to become more of a geek than I felt I already was.
There were other times I overheard Star Wars conversations outside of school. At home my parents liked Star Wars. They adored Carrie Fisher, watched Harrison Ford movies, and admired George Lucas’ American Graffiti. I wanted to dive more in-depth with the Star Wars fandom even more than I felt they did. Yet, I stayed silent and distant when it came to talking about Star Wars. I was being like Mando - alone, but not really alone.
Young adulthood didn’t bring much change in the sense of community for me in Star Wars. The subject matter was still appealing, but I began diving into other fandoms I enjoyed and found others along the way that enjoyed them too. My love for being rebel scum, however, loomed in my future. My journey had begun.
There was a time in my past that I did meet and love someone. Star Wars was a common interest of ours. We watched the movies together. He played the games, and I would help. Unfortunately, the person I once loved caused me much hurt and long-term pain, causing me to fall away from him, as well as from this much-loved fandom. I identified with Padmé Amidala’s sadness over her situation with Anakin all too well. Disaster was knocking at my door. I was forced to choose safety for myself and my child, so I became a clan of two.
Healing began, and I began to love myself again. Occasionally, I’d meet friends here and there who also liked Star Wars. On December 17, 2015, Star Wars: The Force Awakens premiered. I attended the film with fellow Star Wars friends proudly wearing my Star Wars shirt. It felt refreshing and marvelous! I was definitely taking steps in the right direction for finding friends within the Star Wars universe.
More community-building opportunities came my way. Galactic seeds had been planted whenever community events crossed my path, but they wouldn't bloom for a couple of seasons. A friend who knew I liked Star Wars invited my daughter and me to a baseball night that was Star Wars themed. In small steps, I began to accept myself in the midst of my quest for the Galaxy, figuring I may be the black sheep among my family, but that no longer mattered. I had a sense that things would be alright. I boldly began wearing Star Wars fashion. I was glad to be transforming into a one-of-a-kind rebel scum.
Recently, December has been a month for Lucasfilm to premiere a new theatrical release. In December 2018, a Star Wars movie wasn't premiering, however, the Force was bringing Star Wars friends to me that were pivotal in my Star Wars journey. Community was building. My journey continued. The coming months brought even more friends into my personal Star Wars circle, including one friend that was related to other Star Wars acquaintances – specifically, my friend, Dan, had a cousin who was a Star Wars Super Fan and Collector.
In May 2019, by Dan’s special invitation, I walked into Pfeifer-Con (Private Star Wars collection of Eric Pfeifer)! Those earlier seeds that were planted? Well, they were about to get heavily watered and grow! Walking in and seeing some familiar faces that brought both comfort and Star Wars made my heart fill with joy. Stepping into the Star Wars library brought me more than joy – it brought me to “the moment” from Beauty and the Beast - You know the one! I was in awe of this beautiful sight of Star Wars books, and at the same time a little ashamed. After all, I was a self-declared bookworm! I was reading to my daughter before she was born, but somehow I did not know that there were published Star Wars books. I took a deep breath and gave myself a little grace. On top of that, I learned there was going to be a Star Wars book club, (TSO Book Club). There was no hesitation - I had to join! These were key moments in my life. More seeds were planted, and community was taking root.
On September 30, 2019, my best friend agreed to let me join her Peace Love Disney page, writing about all things Star Wars. With the support from my friends at Twins Suns Outpost and Peace Love Disney, my galactic seeds were not only growing, but they were flourishing! My community was comfortable and welcoming. It wasn't just about being accepted, but they actually enjoyed talking Star Wars with me. (Contrary to what you might believe, I am a talker - especially with those I trust.)
2020 may be a tough year for everyone, but personally I have seen the silver linings and realized some positivity. I took a brave step and began writing articles for a Star Wars fandom, and eventually the Force brought me back to a familiar supportive Star Wars home, Twin Suns Outpost. My friends and my parents support my love for Star Wars and writing. I have enjoyed getting to know other Star Wars fans, bloggers, writers, and podcasters from around the world. It is amazing!
My journey to finding community has been a long and winding road, but I’m happy to say that I now have found deep community like Din Djarin. My clan of two has grown mightily. If you fear the growth, or fear being the geek like me, choose to love yourself first. Embrace it. Then be bold and become rebel scum. Carrie Fisher would love you for that! Let the Force and your inner voice guide you. Your journey to community awaits. May the Force be with you. This is the way.